Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Thoughts

I have moments in my life where I'm just terrified and here's the kicker....I'm not exactly sure what I'm terrified of.  I know, that makes no sense what-so-ever....welcome to my world.  My friends have a running joke about me, "if I'm not worrying about something, I'm worrying that I forgot something." Sadly, that isn't too far from the truth.

I have been working on that.  Trying very hard not to let fear control me.  However, that is a comfortable habit of mine and those comfortable habits are hard to break.  There are some bloggers that I greatly admire and respect and I'm learning a lot from them.  I'm trying to take the lessons I'm learning from them and apply them to my life.  I'm trying to break out of this shell of fear.  Dammit, that's hard!  That fear is my security blanket.

Being a parent and knowing that I'm one of my little guy's primary role models has really made me step back and take a long hard look at my actions.  I find that he will apologize for something that he had no control of at all and I tell him that there are some things you just can't help and you don't need to apologize for.  That being said, I know exactly where he gets that from...watching ME!  That is a sobering thought and a good kick in the rear! I don't want him to learn that lesson from me. 

Ok, enough of the deep thinking for the day...it's giving me a headache!

Later!

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