Drewisms

Drew: Momma, I want to go hunting.
Me: Ok
Drew: I need to talk to Papa about that
Me: Ok
Drew: Momma, you know what kind of gun you should use when you go hunting?
Me: No, what kind of gun.
Drew: A machine gun!!!  Those guns work the best and they are FAST!!
Me: Uhm, Drew, if you use a machine gun, you won't have any meant left to eat
Drew: Who cares, it will be fun!!!  Or, maybe I could use a tank.....
(I'm so rolling my eyes at him right now!)

Drew is on this kick of playing card games and playing Farkel. He LOVES Farkel.  We have some interesting conversations during those times.

Drew: Momma, you've got 300 points, are you sure you want to roll again?
Me: Uhm, you do!
Drew: Yes, but that's me and I've got special lucky powers.  You, not so much.
Me: So, I don't have special lucky powers.
Drew: No, see, I'm trying to teach you how to be smart. You need to listen to me.

Drew: Momma, is a 67 a passing grade?
Me: No
Drew: Why, it's a high number.
Me: According to the school rules, anything 69 or less is failing.
Drew: Well, that's a stupid rule.

There is a story behind this one.  Most of you are aware, but we discovered this year that Drew is Dyslexic. Naturally, that makes his reading/writing/spelling more challenging for him.  He gets the accommodations that he needs, but a big part of it is that he doesn't like doing it, so he rushes through certain activities; thus he fails them.  So, I challenged him to pass two reading tests in a row and I would get him this toy he's been asking for.  Well, he passed one, and then on the second one, you guess it, he got a 67.  I'm being "mean mommy" (according to Drew) and not getting the toy for him. :-)

Drew: Momma, I've decided something.
Me: Uhm, ok, what?
Drew: I'm not going to take a bath tonight.
Me: Excuse me? You know perfectly well that tonight is bath night.
Drew: Yes, but if I have to do all this homework, then I won't have enough time for TV if I take a bath.
Me: Well, that's too bad.
Drew: NO IT'S NOT!!!  I NNNNNEEEEEEDDDDDDD my TV.  It's IMPORTANT!!!!!!  I nnneeeedddd it to lllllliiiiiiiiivvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Me: You do NOT need the TV to live, stop being so dramatic.
Drew: Momma, I'm not dramatic.  I'm normal.

(I just had to walk away....I thought that comment was hysterical!)

I just love my kid, he keeps me in stitches!!!